


Grey Is Just a Dark Kind of White

by yuletide_archivist



Category: The Craft (1996)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-12-22
Updated: 2003-12-22
Packaged: 2018-01-25 05:12:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1633346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuletide_archivist/pseuds/yuletide_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sarah has a new life, but something important is missing. It's hard to thrive on memories of a relationship that never was, so Sarah decides to do something about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Grey Is Just a Dark Kind of White

**Author's Note:**

> Written for katja

 

 

Sarah looked around the room and sighed. It wasn't often that so many idiots gathered in one place and these were prime specimens, the lot of them. Some of them had dressed up all in black, their eyes heavy with kohl, and long silver chains with all kinds of satanic symbols around their necks. Some were blond and unbearably fluffy, everything complementing the color pink. Some looked perfectly normal, the average college student with spiffy glasses and outdated clothes, just this side of too intellectual to bear. Those were the worst, coming for the amusement value, seeking nothing but to be convinced of the inevitable non-existence of witchcraft. 

"I welcome you to the first meeting of the new coven. Be the goddess with you, sisters." 

She didn't like the made up words any more than she liked their followers. But magic, once you dabbled in it, would never let you go again. There was a kind of solace in magic that nothing else compared to. Sarah had found the wiccan or other neo-pagan traditions interesting, but none really grabbed her attention long enough to make it into her own rituals. Most of the magic she practiced today came straight from the book she found in her mother's old things. 

"We have gathered here today because one of our sisters needs our support. Fiona, please introduce your troubles to the coven." 

It was always the same: Someone did something mean or nasty to one of the coven members, they met to decide on a course of action and talked until no one even knew why they had come in the first place. Usually it was decided that nothing should be done at all in the spirit of good faith. 

Nancy would have kicked them in the head. 

Sarah tried to think of Nancy as little as possible. There had been times after their fight at the house when Sarah thought she would be able to forget all about witchcraft and Nancy. Though when the magic called to her, memories of soft, white skin and evil green eyes returned like old friends. 

Magic needed passion to work, that's why Nancy had been so talented despite her lack of actual heritage. In Sarah it was a natural gift, something she could use at will, but Nancy had to fight for every spark, sacrifice everything for the tiniest glow of magic. And she did, with all her heart, she put everything on the line. She lost by mere chance and bad luck, only because Sarah had one of the most powerful lines of witches at her back. 

"And then she said I looked like a hag..." The girls prattled on. Sarah could tell that this meeting was going the same way as those before and those that would come after. The same old routine, nothing exciting. Dead. 

Sitting in front of her own coven, smiling serenely, knowingly, Sarah drifted off to thoughts of past adventures. Dark times, those had been. They had been the average teenagers with far too powerful a weapon, but in a strange and exciting way they had been friends. Her and Nancy, the terrible duo. And it was here, right where she was supposed to be, that Sarah found herself missing Nancy. Missing her fiercely.   
 

* * *

  


They say that once you start thinking about suicide you're right on the edge of doing it, that with planning elaborate schemes, with thinking about the consequences and with imagining the sensations you're one step away from the most dangerous question of all. Why not? 

Why not, indeed. 

Sarah had this idea, about Nancy. She wondered what it would feel like to see her tormentor again, the one girl that had seemed to understand all the parts of her - the girl that was also crazy and a hell bitch, but it wasn't like Sarah was going to do anything about Nancy. She was just thinking. 

She was thinking about going to the hospital, about asking the doctors to let her see the strange and dangerous girl. She would, of course, be refused, but she was a witch, she could be crafty if there was something she wanted. 

It was a surprise to realize that she wanted to see Nancy. 

And then, one day after an incredibly boring coven meeting she went to check out the place. Just to see where it was and how - if she ever needed to get in - it was guarded. It didn't look like a place where hundreds of incredibly dangerous, insane criminals were held alongside the usual suicidal lunatic. It had the feel of a normal hospital, despite the bars on first and second storey windows. They weren't there to protect inmates from themselves, they were a tool to keep the world save from them. 

Sarah watched for over an hour, unable to move towards the place or go home. She was fascinated, despite herself, with the shattered and forlorn aura the building possessed. Inside the feeling of lost and sad, there was a familiar anger, an emotion so reminiscent of Nancy that it hurt to look at the hospital too long. 

After a few hours Sarah tore herself away from the intoxicating sight. She had other things to do, other things to worry about than an old friend (enemy?) in a mental institution, where she rightfully belonged. She wasn't going to waste her life away, thinking of things that could have been. 

If only Nancy had accepted her morals, her power, and maybe even, her love. 

Sarah tried not to think about words like love. Love was for Hobbits and little children, innocent creatures who didn't let the darkness conquer them. Love had forsaken Sarah when Nancy turned her full power on her, trying to destroy; not defeat but annihilate. When Nancy let the darkness win, Sarah finally found that place inside of her where the light reigned in such abundance that she could turn it outside, turn it against Nancy's darkness. 

Only a few years later Sarah realized that Nancy never had much darkness or light to begin with and it hadn't been entirely her own fault that she'd succumbed to evil instead of good. Sarah had had the power, Sarah could have saved her. 

With thoughts of saving came the desire for forgiveness, and in the years to come, Sarah would tell herself that it was forgiveness she sought when she entered the hospital in search for the only other witch who matched her in power.   
 

* * *

  


"Why are you here, pretty girl?" 

Nancy still had that sneer on her face, but the rest was appallingly different. Her radiant eyes were dim and lifeless, her hair cut down to a short crew cut. She had always been thin, but now she resembled a skinny rabbit, whipcord strength with no gram of fat. 

"Don't look so shocked, princess, it's what prison does to you. Princess, pretty princess-" 

Nancy trailed off, muttering a song beneath her breath and whipping back and forth. She looked truly insane. Sarah couldn't help the bit of disgust that surged through her, nor the huge wave of guilt. She wanted to say something, anything that would make it better, though her heart knew no words could heal what had been broken. Her inherent magic yearned to fix Nancy. 

Suddenly Nancy's eyes brightened, focused, pierced Sarah right through the heart. "Say, why are you here, little princess? Are you bored with being good just yet?" 

Was she? Sarah stared at Nancy through the thick security glass, unable to tear her eyes away from the brightness in Nancy's eyes. For a lunatic she looked pretty sentient, actually. 

"I-" 

Nancy grinned, revealing a row of teeth that was no longer undisturbed. "You missed me. Pretty Princess Paragon missed the evil witch. What a surprise." 

The laughter was jarring, but beneath the shock Sarah had to admit that it sounded brittle, like a house with all foundations rotting away, waiting for the storm. Nancy was still insane, still a mean, evil bitch using everything she had to hurt other people - but most of all that proved that she was honest beyond propriety and stronger than the medication they put her on. It tore Sarah's heart to witness her in this place, at the end of everything. 

"No plan, no plan, just you and that pretty little heart of yours. Pretty little heart, all red and burning and bloody. Have you come to save me, pretty little thing?" 

Nancy leaped to the door, pressing her face against the glass. "Can't see you, pretty one. Can't see a bit of you. It's dark in here, so dark. The light doesn't come to people like us." 

Sarah flinched, though she couldn't back away. Part of her wanted to run away screaming, but that part was small. The rest of her was fascinated, captivated by Nancy's eyes. As much as Nancy had lied, her eyes always told the truth, and that truth was about passion and scars so deep they ran right through her soul. 

Voices in the dark, the sound of doctors coming on their hourly visit, reminded Sarah that she was not supposed to be there. "I'll be back," she whispered, promising not just Nancy, but also herself. She tore her hand away from the glass, her eyes away from the green pools she was going to drown in if she wasn't careful. 

"Oh what a joy," Nancy said, with all the joy of funeral in her voice. "I can't wait." 

Sarah ignored the jab and turned back. "Try to stop taking the medication they give you." 

Nancy stared at her, trying to understand. She was slower than usual, easily distracted, which had to be a side-effect of her treatment. Then the realization sank in and Nancy started to grin. "My princess is going to do something bad. How about that?" 

Sarah wanted to tell her she was wrong, wanted to say that it was just so she could talk to her once more, come clean about everything - draw that line and never think of her again. But that would be a lie, and Sarah won't lie to Nancy anymore. 

"I'll be back," she said and turned to run away. Behind her, Nancy laughed.   
 

* * *

  


"You are insane." 

Sarah flinched, but couldn't help the dirty grin that stole on her face. "It's not me stuck in a mental hospital." 

Nancy's eyes narrowed, brighter than they had been for years, now that she'd successfully stopped taking her meds. She was also much faster on the uptake and with that much more dangerous. Sarah would take her chances. 

"Who says I'm going to do it?" 

Sarah smiled. "You hate this place more than you hate me." 

Nancy grinned. "That's true. Which makes me wonder why you are doing it." 

A valid question. Sarah shrugged. "I need you. I haven't met anyone who can handle real magic the way you do." 

Nancy cocked her head to the side, measuring every inch of Sarah, probably seeing more than the black-ops clothes and the drained expression on her face. "You are lonely." 

"No, I-" 

Nancy shushed her, grinning like the proverbial cat that got the canary. "You are lonely because no one takes magic seriously. You need someone who can understand that kind of power." 

"I didn't say that." Sarah hated the defensive tone in her own voice. 

Nancy raised one black eyebrow and grinned wider. "Of course you didn't. Can't let me get one up on you, not after that day at the house." Nancy leaned closer. "We could have been so good together." 

A shiver ran down Sarah's spine. There was something in Nancy's voice, a promise of better things, that made her knees weak and created a million butterflies in her stomach. She shook her head and glared at Nancy. 

"Don't try to manipulate me. I think we both know who is going to win." 

"Oh," Nancy said, falling back and staring at the ceiling, "I think it's a win-win for both of us." 

Sarah gasped with surprise. "You think... so you will do it?" 

"It's a hell of a kink, princess. Being your slave from now to the end of eternity, what's not to like?" 

Sarah grimaced at the harsh words. "It's not slavery." 

"No," Nancy said, her voice cutting the air like a knife, "But it's not freedom either. You will have my life in your hand, always." 

"But only if I die as well. It's just a safe-guard." 

"Safe-guarding the world from the evil witch? What a hero you've become, princess." 

Sarah couldn't face the disdain in those eyes, the sneer on those lips. Too long she had been caught in their net, this was something she had to do without looking at Nancy for support she wouldn't get. It was a kind of torture she could well live without. Except when she went through with this... when she actually did it. 

"It's a safe-guard for me." 

She hadn't meant to say it and was as startled as Nancy by the words. The other girl propped herself up on her elbows, staring at Sarah. 

"What?" 

Sarah closed her eyes, unwilling and unable to say what was closest to her heart. She wanted this as a safe-guard for herself, so that Nancy would never be able to leave her. So that, at the end of time, Nancy would be with her. 

"It's nothing," Sarah said, and it was not a lie as much as it was a wish. "I just want to make sure." 

Nancy laughed, bitter and broken like a bottle of bad wine. "Make sure of what? That I can't run away?" 

Sarah flinched but opened her eyes to look at Nancy. She put all her strength in that look, piercing the other girl to her core. 

"Yes."   
 

* * *

  


The spell was new. Sarah created it for her own purpose, knowing that it weren't the words, but the intent that would give her the power. And she had a whole lot of that. 

Intent also brought her a wet tongue tracing her ear and a harsh, but not painful, bite on her right nipple. She would never have thought how much that could arouse her, but then she'd never had sex with an evil witch before. Besides, that time at the beach they had both been drunk on alcohol and power, and Nancy had never said anything about it. 

So, she said the words and cut her palm, motioning for Nancy to do the same. Even when Nancy murmured the ancient words to Sarah's spell, she still felt as if Nancy was going to run away and laugh, leave her with a shattered life - again, but then Nancy grabbed the knife and drove it deep into her skin. The blood welled up and she pressed their hands together. 

"It's done." 

That was when Nancy gave her the look. The look Nancy had perfected even before she met Sarah, the look that made husbands leave their wives, that made teenage boys come in their pants, the kind of look that should be forbidden by law. 

"We haven't even started," Nancy said. A promise to Sarah's ears. A small part of her spoke up in a last ditch attempt to do the right thing, saying that this was the road to darkness. 

But if darkness felt and tasted like Nancy, if she could run her hands through darkness like short cropped hair - then maybe darkness wasn't so bad. After so much time, too long years she let pass out of fear, she felt whole again. 

Sarah smiled as she kissed cracked lips and looked into bright green eyes. She was finally where she wanted to be, where her soul felt at home. If Nancy belonged to that place - if Nancy _was_ that place - then so be it. There was no rule that said witches couldn't be grey. 

~ End ~ 

 


End file.
